Armquist vs the Furons! was the 18th mission in Destroy All Humans! and the second and last mission in Union Town. In that mission, Crypto had to stop General Armquist from uniting the four military branches into one.


The mission started with Crypto following Armquist to a meeting. Then, Crypto went around the back of the Navy Museum and put the Navy Admiral to Sleep and Holobobed him. Crypto then persuaded the other Generals to not support Armquist in the Meeting Area. Then, after the meeting finished, Armquist found out that the Navy Admiral was actually Crypto, punched him, and fled to his Power Suit. After he destroyed Armquist's Power Suit, Crypto told Armquist that they didn't have to fight. Crpyto then finished Armquist off with the Disintegrator Ray.


  • Follow Armquist To The Meeting (NO MILITARY AWARENESS)
  • Hypnotize the Navy Warlord and make him sleep. Don't kill him! (NO MILITARY AWARENESS)
  • HoloBob the Navy Warlord. Don't kill him! (NO MILITARY AWARENESS)
  • Enter the Meeting Area disguised as the Navy Warlord. Don't kill him! (NO MILITARY AWARENESS)
  • Destroy Armquist


At the start of the level:

Pox: Crypto, the warlord Armquist is heading to a meeting with the other human warmongers. His orders are to unite them against us!

Crypto: No biggie - I'll just take him out.

Pox: Yes, but that would still leave the others alive. Martyring Armquist will only stiffen their resolve.

Crypto: Oh well, I guess I'll have to do them too.

Pox: Follow Armquist to that meeting!

After convincing the other generals to leave Armquist:

Armquist: I don't know who the hell you are, General, but you've got a big mouth.

(Crypto undisguises as the Navy Admiral)

Armquist: Son of a - YOU! How did you do that?!?

(Crypto tries to shoot Armquist with his Disintegrator Ray, but he jumps out of the way)

Armquist: You shoot like a girl, Vladimir!

(Armquist punches Crypto and runs away)

Armquist: Come and get me, you Commie piece of CRAP!

Crypto: Okay, we'll do it your way.

(Crypto runs backwards out of the Meeting Area, where some soldiers are ready to shoot)

Crypto: Eat hot plasma, monkeys!

(Crypto fires his Disintegrator Ray at the soldiers, who are about to shoot, but lower their guns when they see Armquist in his Power Suit)

Crypto: You dirty rats! You're the rats who killed by broth- eh?

(Crypto turns around to see Armquist in his power suit)

Crypto: Your way's not very sportsmanlike.


Crypto: Who's hiding? LET'S GET FUNKY!

After defeating Armquist:

(Armquist is laying by his broken Power Suit)

Armquist: Aargh. Go on, you Commie punk! Finish it!

Crypto: It didn't have to be this way, Armquist.

Armquist: What do - What do you mean?

Crypto: I mean this ridiculous war. We could have worked together, you and I, to forge a new future - a common future, of peace and prosperity for our two peoples.

Armquist: Just put me out of my misery, will ya?

Crypto: I'm serious.

Armquist: You... you didn't want to destroy us?

Crypto: Of course not. We were as scared of you as you were of us. Deep in our hearts, I think what we really wanted was to be just like you.

Armquist: Really?

Crypto: Really.

Armquist: I guess... at the end of the day... we really are all just... human beings!

(Crypto disintegrates Armquist with his Disintegrator Ray)

Crypto: Psych.

(Crypto walks away and stops)

Crypto: Pathetic human.

(Crypto continues to walk away)

Appearances Edit