Crazies were a group of Humans who appeared in Turnipseed Farm-rural crazy, Santa Modesta-suburban crazy, and Union Town- urban crazy. Crazies appeared to have more DNA, maybe because they really had experience or more knowledge with aliens and were crazy.
- "Why does that lady have tentacles coming out of her ears, I wonder if she's an alien.... Helloooo!"
- "Probe me again, Oh, Please God probe me again!"
- Nixon an alien, So is Huffman, So is Doris Day and John Wayne! Why am I the only one to seem to notice?"
A crazy farm lady, who appeared at Turnipseed Farm, in multiple areas and didn't respawn in those areas once she was killed.
- "Unruly hair, pocket protector, still living with my mother, how could anybody say no!"
- "Fools, all of you, me an my ex-communicator hat, will show all you pathetic drones of the invading alien horde!"
- "Please! I'm scared of reality! (When picked up by Psychokinesis)"
A crackpot scientist who appeared in Santa Modesta in the mission Foreign Correspondent, who helped Crypto find Bert Whither and made him the only crazy to feature in the main missions. He didn't respawn if he was killed.
- "Repent, The End is Nigh! What does Nigh mean anyway?"
- "One hundred bottles of bear on the wall, one hundred bottles of bear..."
- "That trashcan is speaking to me... an all the little birdies too!"
An alcoholic and crazy hobo who appeared in Union Town and the only crazy who walked around and respawned.