- "Martha, get me the shotgun!"
- ―Harold Turnipseed[src]
After noticing that Cryptosporidium had killed his cows with psychokenisis, Harold tried to kill him with a shotgun, but was electrocuted to death. The local paper posthumously charged him with "cow abuse".
- He is voiced by Andre Sogliuzzo.
- He looks and sounds identical to the other farmers encountered at Turnipseed Farm and Rockwell.